Feb 28, 2012

Rick Santorum and the other Great Satan


Rick Santorum and the dark side seem a natural fit. Maybe it's his count Dracula look or those sweater vests that project inner darkness. So it's no surprise that the devil figures into Rick's world view.

Topping the list of Santorum's bogeymen is no less than His Satanic Majesty. We're not talking some abstract spiritual principle or an allusion that is purely allegorical. When Rick says "Satan" he really does mean the legendary denizen of the deep.

Like the man said - "I'm a person of faith. I believe in good and evil."

When people are comfortable and in the company of the like-minded they often say what they truly mean. Ave Maria College in Florida was made for people like Rick Santorum and the late Savonarola. The place is a magnet for Orthodox Catholics with conservative beliefs. So not surprisingly Rick's tendency to Satan-it-up was in high gear when he spoke at the college in 2008.

We get Satan alerts like - "This is not a political war at all, this is not a culture war at all, this is a spiritual war... and the father of lies has his sights on what you think the father of lies, Satan, would have his sights on. A good, decent, powerful, influential country, the United States of America."

Taking a cue from a Stephen Colbert skit - top of the agenda for a president Santorum would likely be a pre-emptive strike on hell. Colbert: "It's simple: All we have to do is take our nuclear missiles out of their silos and put them back in upside-down."

But maybe not. Bet Santorum secretly loves the idea of hell. After all it has to do with sin and suffering. Probably turns his crank. A punishment zone in the hereafter where Godless liberals burn for eternity.

Santorum has had to chill on his more outlandish sermonizing to avoid scaring away independents and other potential backers. Make no mistake though, good-and-evil theology co-starring Lord Satan is a scenario Santorum is entirely comfortable with. A view that would have been a big hit in the Middle Ages.

Rick Santorum is a walking pro-Obama ad. If in the unlikeliest of worlds it ever comes down to a Santorum versus Obama face-off, Americans will have more of a stark choice than they ever dreamed possible. It isn't just Santorum's superstitions that will be front and center, it will be his views on contraception, women, the crusades, the Middle East, welfare... to name a few.

The secular eco-type "theology" Santorum attacked recently is nowhere near as questionable or deluded as the theology that inspires his oddball zealotry.